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Shadow Company Embarrassment.

Shadow Company Corporal skips duty to see dwarf prostitute.

A Shadow Company Corporal resigned from the legion after leaving his post to see a dwarf prostitute.

Corporal Jonathon Elijah Woods, deserted his late night patrol to visit an establishment where prostitute Bridey “The Midget” Happnestance – billed as “the world’s smallest protstitute” – was receiving clients last month.

The corporal, who was serving in the Shadow Company, Cefalu patrol, resigned after leaving his post to see the prostitute, The Cefalu Town Crier reported.

He was in uniform at the time and was reported to Confessors by at least five other officers, said Cefalu’s Confessor Mott.

He then reportedly lied about the visit during an internal investigation into the incident.

“My mother told me there would be days like this,” Shadow Company’s Captain Jorun said, on confirming Woods’ resignation. “We are not embarrassed. In fact, I am pretty proud [other company members] stepped up.”

Woods, who last month received a commendation for his work in a local Cefalu murder case, resigned immediately rather than face disciplinary action, Jorun said.

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